Donnie Wahlberg

My Teenage Crush. Came full circle a year ago on Thursday when I Had my First Facetime!!

Taking a Bad Sail with the Captain

Who would Have thought. You could have a Bad sail with the Captain? I learned another Very hard lesson with alcohol this past week. And I may never want to drink again. Even at my age, you live & learn.

When I was I guess around 22, I had my first bout with Alcohol Poisoning. We were playing a round of Shots w/ Goldenshulger (cant spell it) Yeagermeister & Firewater. Well my friend Rich tells me Im not actually doing the shots i was faking it. So being cute, I took the bottle of Firewater & chugged it. Needless to say. My Dad found me in the backyard hours later with my best friend puking my brains out.. I was cute alright. I had alcohol poisoning & was in bed for days. You would think I learned my lesson. Which I thought i did, for years I tried to avoid shots as much as possible..

So we break to this last Halloween. Many years has passed since that incident. Sometimes it just feels like yesterday. I dont drink that much anymore. Believe me I have drank enough in the last years to float a river. It just got sorta old. Didnt feel it anymore.. So I worked all day on Halloween, ran home to get my costume ready & we headed out at 630 for the Pub crawl. im thinking, well if I drink Capt & Sprite I can stop myself. Because with beer i cant.. My first drink was ALL captain!! bartender thought he was doing me a favor. Which umm NO he wasnt at all. He was contributing to a VERY long. VERY drunk night.. =(

We started in one town I think I had at least 4 or 5 Strong Capts before 11pm. Then we drove to the next town to hit the halloween party there. Should i have drank more? Hell No. Did I? Oh hell Yes.. Because i ran into my Married X boyfriend & his wife whos dispises me. He still hits on me when shes not around. Soooo I had him smiling & winking at me. And her giving me the evil eye.. in order to avoid it. I Got wasted on capt!! NOT a good thing.. I was talking Chinese by the end of the night from what i was told..

Made it home safely. Got up the next day, Didnt feel to bad. But for the next few days I had trouble eating. It was horrible. By the weekend I was sicker then a dog. Not eating. Anxiety attacks setting in. And i wound up in the ER the following Monday night. Gastinious was the outcome. Whats that? Basically ,y stomach is full of Acid from Binge Drinking Capt! Can you believe that shit? So here I am 2 weeks later..finally feeling better & eating antiacids for the next mth to clear up my stomach so I DONT get an Ulcer.

One night of Fun = 2 weeks of Hell. I really dont think it was worth it. Do You?

Don't Ever Look Back

This is something that I need to learn, When that door closes I need to leave him in the past. But after all of these years I have not learned that. He calls I run. He stays for awhile I'm at his beck n call. He leaves... Hes done for awhile & I'm left to pick up the pieces.

At one point in my life. He was all that i had. I was young. maybe he was my first real love. But he was the only one there when my world crashed & burned. Maybe thats why its so hard to let him go.

I have in the past. Moved on with my life. But just when I thought I was really getting over him. He came back 6 mths ago... and as you can guess hes gone again...

Time to Try & close that door for good..

Bet You Wish You Had Me Back

It was you and me and one hot summer
Beading up with sweat all over each other
Soaking wet
We didn't have a lot of time
So we didn't waste much
Found in all the right places
You wanted me to touch
And all those memories
Make it so hard to forget about me

CHORUS:
I bet you wish you had me back
Another chance to gain it just like that
The best you ever had
And do you close your eyes with her
And pretend I'm doing you again
Like only I can
I bet you wish you had me back
I bet you wish you had me back

It was you and me it seemed to last forever
The way you taste and I still remember
The sounds we made
One day in June I stayed all night
And made love to you like
The 4th of July
And all those memories
Make it so hard to forget about me

CHORUS:
I bet you wish you had me back
Another chance to gain it just like that
The best you ever had
And do you close your eyes with her
And pretend I'm doing you again
Like only I can
I bet you wish you had me back

Every night every time
You see me when you close your eyes

Its been 2 long..

Its been quite awhile since I have written in here.. I had a Wonderful Summer. back in a place that i longed to be for such a longtime.. But as usual it didnt last long and hes running away from me again.. Some say I should just let go.. Some think I should stay and hold on.. My heart is not where it should be at this point.. He has it & hes not here..

Im all over the place with this blog I know. So many feelings & so many thoughts that are just jumbled in my head.. My mind is not clear. Although i wish it was... Trying so hard to find my way back there. Im ok. Ive been here before, many times. I will get thru. But all it would take is a Simple Smile from a certain someone to make this world a better place...

Today is also my Mom's 13th year in Heaven on her Birthday..Could be the reason my thoughts are so displaced right now... Have a good day if your reading this.. I will try & start updating more

A Day in the Life....of a NKOTB & my Life as a Blockhead

No one completely understands us... I guess it takes a Blockhead to know a Blockhead..

These guys grew up with us.. For some they were the older Teenage Heart Throbs that they looked up to.. And for some (like me) they were the same age.. Old enough to drive but to young to drink.. Discovering ourselves.. Graduating High School & trying to figure out who we were..

They were the Biggest Teen Sensations, every single one of us just wanted to hang out with them.. Then it just all faded into the Past..None of us really gave it a second thought. We were growing up & getting on with our lives.. Packing up the posters, dolls, buttons & putting them away for safe keeping not really knowing why.. Little did each of us know.. That all of us were doing the same exact thing all around the world...

Then one day 20yrs after it all began.. there was a hint of a return. Could it be? Not really wanting to get to excited, our hopes up just to be dashed that the Guys could be making a return..

I was just as excited as everyone else. But I chose to hide it more so then others. Why? No reason really, I just chose to be the closet fan.. Then out of no where they were back. As if 15 yrs had not passed.. We had gotten older. Started Family's, Lost Loved ones & lived alot in those years that they were gone from the scene..

Its amazing to find out that the words in Joey Song is true.. There were a million other sisters out there & quite a few brothers as well, that had the same dreams I did. That packed all of there posters & videos away for safe keeping just like I did. A million other people Just like me.. I was no longer alone.

In the last 2 years I have made some amazing new friends all because of these guys. From all over the world. Friends that I would have never met, some I know i will have for the rest of my life. Friends that feel the exact same way i do, when all the rest of the world thinks I am crazy... Thank You New Kids on the Block for coming back into my life & making me feel like a Teenager all over again.. and Thats OK!!

NKOTB: Thank You for Coming Home!

If you happen to read this blog.. Or fall onto it for any reason.. You'll find out quickly that Im a HUGE fan of NKOTB. Have been since I was 16yrs old.. Alot of people make fun of something that has my heart.. But I dont think they quite understand us Blockheads...

In the past there was the Beatles & Elvis.. We have the New Kids. Did I think 22yrs later I would be living my Teenage Dream? No..but here I am living it & having a blast the whole way thru. Ive made so many friends this past year. From all over the world. Some will be friends for life..

Last Month I had the Opportunity to go to Boston for The New Kids, House of Blues Christmas Concert. I Have never been to Boston. So the chance to see the city & my fave band in the Hometown, may onmy come once in a Lifetime. So I jumped on it...

We (The Blockheads) had a get together the night before at the Hard Rock Cafe and here the Video that we made to Thank them for Coming Home...

It's a Long Way...

Long Way
Dusty road, hopeless eyes
Looking at the blinding lights
Saw your ghost here tonight
It lingers on and I feel your life
Pulling me back to the place
But the thought of staring back at you
Was more than I could face
It's a long way now
From where I used to rest my head
Here safe and sound, if only I could turn around
There's no direction where I stand
Just dead end signs and wasted land
It's a long way now to you
Trusted hope, he left me standing by
To find what's lost
Is it in his eyes
Pulling me back to the place
Just thinking of myself without you
Is more than I can take
It's a long way now
From where I used to rest my head
Here safe and sound, if only I could turn around
There's no direction where I stand
Just dead end signs and wasted land
It's a long way now to you
Saw your ghost here tonight
It lingers on and I feel your life
It's a long way now

Lovin me the Alter Ego of TONY!!

I wanna Wear Justin Timberlake on my Ass!!!!

Oh Hell yeah William Rast here I come....Now who wants to lend me $300.00???? I will wear him ON MY ASS!!!!

Broken

This blog was put on my Myspace almost a year ago today.. january 11th While I was in Florida this song was on the Radio constantly..It made me think of him alot.. A year later nothings changed & Im still pretty much broken inside...

Lyrics | Lifehouse lyrics - Broken lyrics

Dirty Love Drink to Us

In the Darkness of Night

My David Cook Meltdown

We spent the day with Zack at Disney Quest in Downtown Disney. Although Larry, Helen, Lisa & I wouldnt admit it, I think we had as much fun as he did!! LoL...
The end of the night. Larry & Helen had left hours earlier. But Zack, Lisa & I wandered around for a little bit. Just enjoying the evening before heading home to the Cape.
Well little did they know that I was about to have the MELTDOWN of a lifetime on them! HOB (house of blues) is right across from Disney Quest. We were getting ready to leave. When we walked by to here someone playin accoustic inside the HOB and girls dressed like super hoochies in a line that was wrapped around everywhere..So of course I am thinking (someone) important is in there...I look at the sign.
It says Colby Calliet, Edwem Mcain & someone else that fails to my mind at this minute. But at the Bottom is say *AND DAVID COOK* ok for any of you that know me. I Love that guy. LoL...Theres just something about his voice. Its like Lifehouse to me! :) I turned around TOTALLY SPEECHLESS....Then I went into Super Susan Meltdown. It was quite ugly.
For one it was sold out & he was RIGHT THERE. And for two, some guy is standing there offering me tickets as I am flipping out. We had to get Zack home for schooll. It was a 3 hour drive home. And I whined all the way home. Hell its been 2 weeks & I am still whining about it...
Little did i know that he was ALSO at the freakin Magic Kingdom with Drew Lachey the weekend before and I was there but we were blocked out because you had to buy the tickets months & months in advance!! My friend Helen actually watched Archie film a commercial there that same morning but had NO clue who he was. Which is really funny. She referred to him as some little kid! LoL...
2 chances to see David SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO close & SOOOOOOOOOOO freakin far.....
Lisa got me his CD for christmas, Imma gonna break it open right now...But I found the videos of what I missed sadly.
Awww one day! LOL