Donnie Wahlberg

My Teenage Crush. Came full circle a year ago on Thursday when I Had my First Facetime!!

Taking a Bad Sail with the Captain

Who would Have thought. You could have a Bad sail with the Captain? I learned another Very hard lesson with alcohol this past week. And I may never want to drink again. Even at my age, you live & learn.

When I was I guess around 22, I had my first bout with Alcohol Poisoning. We were playing a round of Shots w/ Goldenshulger (cant spell it) Yeagermeister & Firewater. Well my friend Rich tells me Im not actually doing the shots i was faking it. So being cute, I took the bottle of Firewater & chugged it. Needless to say. My Dad found me in the backyard hours later with my best friend puking my brains out.. I was cute alright. I had alcohol poisoning & was in bed for days. You would think I learned my lesson. Which I thought i did, for years I tried to avoid shots as much as possible..

So we break to this last Halloween. Many years has passed since that incident. Sometimes it just feels like yesterday. I dont drink that much anymore. Believe me I have drank enough in the last years to float a river. It just got sorta old. Didnt feel it anymore.. So I worked all day on Halloween, ran home to get my costume ready & we headed out at 630 for the Pub crawl. im thinking, well if I drink Capt & Sprite I can stop myself. Because with beer i cant.. My first drink was ALL captain!! bartender thought he was doing me a favor. Which umm NO he wasnt at all. He was contributing to a VERY long. VERY drunk night.. =(

We started in one town I think I had at least 4 or 5 Strong Capts before 11pm. Then we drove to the next town to hit the halloween party there. Should i have drank more? Hell No. Did I? Oh hell Yes.. Because i ran into my Married X boyfriend & his wife whos dispises me. He still hits on me when shes not around. Soooo I had him smiling & winking at me. And her giving me the evil eye.. in order to avoid it. I Got wasted on capt!! NOT a good thing.. I was talking Chinese by the end of the night from what i was told..

Made it home safely. Got up the next day, Didnt feel to bad. But for the next few days I had trouble eating. It was horrible. By the weekend I was sicker then a dog. Not eating. Anxiety attacks setting in. And i wound up in the ER the following Monday night. Gastinious was the outcome. Whats that? Basically ,y stomach is full of Acid from Binge Drinking Capt! Can you believe that shit? So here I am 2 weeks later..finally feeling better & eating antiacids for the next mth to clear up my stomach so I DONT get an Ulcer.

One night of Fun = 2 weeks of Hell. I really dont think it was worth it. Do You?

Don't Ever Look Back

This is something that I need to learn, When that door closes I need to leave him in the past. But after all of these years I have not learned that. He calls I run. He stays for awhile I'm at his beck n call. He leaves... Hes done for awhile & I'm left to pick up the pieces.

At one point in my life. He was all that i had. I was young. maybe he was my first real love. But he was the only one there when my world crashed & burned. Maybe thats why its so hard to let him go.

I have in the past. Moved on with my life. But just when I thought I was really getting over him. He came back 6 mths ago... and as you can guess hes gone again...

Time to Try & close that door for good..

Bet You Wish You Had Me Back

It was you and me and one hot summer
Beading up with sweat all over each other
Soaking wet
We didn't have a lot of time
So we didn't waste much
Found in all the right places
You wanted me to touch
And all those memories
Make it so hard to forget about me

CHORUS:
I bet you wish you had me back
Another chance to gain it just like that
The best you ever had
And do you close your eyes with her
And pretend I'm doing you again
Like only I can
I bet you wish you had me back
I bet you wish you had me back

It was you and me it seemed to last forever
The way you taste and I still remember
The sounds we made
One day in June I stayed all night
And made love to you like
The 4th of July
And all those memories
Make it so hard to forget about me

CHORUS:
I bet you wish you had me back
Another chance to gain it just like that
The best you ever had
And do you close your eyes with her
And pretend I'm doing you again
Like only I can
I bet you wish you had me back

Every night every time
You see me when you close your eyes

Its been 2 long..

Its been quite awhile since I have written in here.. I had a Wonderful Summer. back in a place that i longed to be for such a longtime.. But as usual it didnt last long and hes running away from me again.. Some say I should just let go.. Some think I should stay and hold on.. My heart is not where it should be at this point.. He has it & hes not here..

Im all over the place with this blog I know. So many feelings & so many thoughts that are just jumbled in my head.. My mind is not clear. Although i wish it was... Trying so hard to find my way back there. Im ok. Ive been here before, many times. I will get thru. But all it would take is a Simple Smile from a certain someone to make this world a better place...

Today is also my Mom's 13th year in Heaven on her Birthday..Could be the reason my thoughts are so displaced right now... Have a good day if your reading this.. I will try & start updating more